The year started with God giving me this desire to get to know Him more and to seek intimacy with Him. As I got to enjoy and know more of God that year, I also heard Him clearly about His will for my life. He started to work in my heart by correcting my definition of the word 'accomplished'. The real accomplished people in God’s kingdom are those who are totally dependent on Him, allowing God to use their weaknesses to show God’s strength. God reminded me of Mikey, but at that time, I resisted it in my heart.
By September 2013, God started to clarify His will for my life. I was studying the life of Joseph and Mary, and I started to wonder why God would choose Joseph to be the father of Jesus. There was nothing grand about Joseph. He was just a carpenter. One thing stood out for me though: he had a very high regard for God’s word and acted out of obedience no matter the cost. Again, God reminded me of Mikey. By this time, I was already afraid of what God would say next because I could already discern where this was going. In Filipino jargon, nirereto. Everyday I would anticipate that God would correct my understanding of His word. Instead of correcting me, He showed me through His word that He reveals His plans to those whose hearts are ready. Surprisingly, there was an inexpressible peace in my heart.
The only complication was I liked someone else. God was quick to clarify that His will is different from what I want at the moment. He asked me to surrender my preference to Him and allow Him to choose for me and to trust that His choice is the best for me. With much struggle, I surrendered my will to God’s will and trusted Him to work things out. I prayed for God to change my heart towards Mikey and to let me see him the way God sees him—not who he is now but who he can become in the future.
However, I still couldn’t comprehend why God would tell me these things beforehand. Everyday I would ask Him if I understood Him right. And every single day, for that whole month, He would patiently assure me through His word that I heard Him right and He would not change His mind. One night as I was on my way home, I asked Him in my heart, “God, is this even possible?” When I had my devotion that night, my verse was, “With God, nothing is impossible.” By this time, I committed to God that I would choose to do His will, reserve myself for Mikey, and wait for him to act.
Mikey and I were slowly becoming good friends but he wasn't dropping hints of pursuing me. It took two more years of waiting and trusting God. These have been the most productive years of my life. I was able to spend time with my family and serve God with undivided devotion, time, and energy in my work and in the youth ministry. Looking back, God used these years of waiting to change my heart and to prepare me, in skills and in character. He also used it to build my friendship with Mikey and learn how to treat him with kindness and respect. He used it to mature both of us and to make us ready for His will.
Mikey had his own journey with God. Hearing it for the first time last December 2015 was really a blessing. It amazes me that God could talk to two people who weren’t even talking to each other! Everything God taught me was connected and consistent with what He was telling Mikey. It was also a blessing that we were able to involve our parents and authorities in the process and share the joy of our journey with them.
God-willing, Mikey and I will get married by December this year. Please pray for us as we embark on a new journey of waiting and trusting. Now we are a team as we walk on water with Jesus!
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